The Chaos Within - 'We'll do it baba...'
I went away last week.
Four days in Goa. The most difficult decision amounted to choosing a restaurant to eat at every night.
The beach, the sea, the waves, the pack of dogs (including tri-pod with his retractable legs), the company... I kept my phone on.
On my way back to Pune I contacted Errol, 'How is Saraswathi?'
'The same.'
I went to see her today. Her mum was there when I walked in. She sat by Saraswathi's side, stroking her legs, massaging them, straightening them out... this was the same woman who put Saraswathi in a room and willed her to die.
Nothing is ever the proverbial black and white is it? Layers, textures, its all so fucking complex.
Saraswathi responded better to me today. She can't speak because she continues to struggle with an oral thrush infection, but her waggling of the head has more purpose. It is more defined and readable.
She wears a powder blue shower cap now to keep the hair off her back. Her legs are dry like tinder. Her mother began to oil them as I left. I put my hand on the mum's shoulder and smiled. Saraswathi's daughter was smiling too. 'Mummy is getting better.'
I wish she was. I so fucking hope she is. It is still too early to tell. Errol and his team are doing all they can for her and her family visits almost every day. Their reaction to her at Sahara could confuse me but it doesn't. They want to make sure their daughter/sister is comfortable. The mother has however removed all Saraswathi's jewelry. Errol says this depressed Saraswathi more, but her mother does not seem to trust the Sahara staff to look after her daughter's gold trinkets. They can bathe her and feed her and medicate her but cannot be trusted with gold earrings.
Complex.
Errol was on a break today so I took him to the Shisha cafe to relax. After a couple of whisky and sodas he turned to me and declared that 'People think I am mad to be doing what I do.'
"I don't know how I could do anything else. God has saved me Hans and I have to serve him by serving the brothers and sisters that are dropped at my door."
He smiled. Sad. And then, happy.
"We'll do it baba. You and me. We'll change the way AIDS is looked at in Pune."
I nodded. We have to. The next six months are going to be busy. Deep Griha is still on holiday but Paul and I are using it to plan the months ahead. And Errol and his team are part of that plan.
Today my visit to Sahara included Smiler and her friend Sabha who had collected bed sheets and clothes and even the odd lady's purse!
They were particularly apologetic about the purses, but as Errol said 'my women clients would love a purse. They also should enjoy these things na.'
The bed linen will help and the old clothes, if they don't fit will be cut up and used as rags. Sahara always needs rags, if nothing else. There is a lot to mop up, there is a lot to soak up, there is a lot to wipe away.
"We'll do it baba. You and me. We'll change the way AIDS is looked at in Pune."
With the teams we have. The Mayas and the Salims, yes Errol we will.
Four days in Goa. The most difficult decision amounted to choosing a restaurant to eat at every night.
The beach, the sea, the waves, the pack of dogs (including tri-pod with his retractable legs), the company... I kept my phone on.
On my way back to Pune I contacted Errol, 'How is Saraswathi?'
'The same.'
I went to see her today. Her mum was there when I walked in. She sat by Saraswathi's side, stroking her legs, massaging them, straightening them out... this was the same woman who put Saraswathi in a room and willed her to die.
Nothing is ever the proverbial black and white is it? Layers, textures, its all so fucking complex.
Saraswathi responded better to me today. She can't speak because she continues to struggle with an oral thrush infection, but her waggling of the head has more purpose. It is more defined and readable.
She wears a powder blue shower cap now to keep the hair off her back. Her legs are dry like tinder. Her mother began to oil them as I left. I put my hand on the mum's shoulder and smiled. Saraswathi's daughter was smiling too. 'Mummy is getting better.'
I wish she was. I so fucking hope she is. It is still too early to tell. Errol and his team are doing all they can for her and her family visits almost every day. Their reaction to her at Sahara could confuse me but it doesn't. They want to make sure their daughter/sister is comfortable. The mother has however removed all Saraswathi's jewelry. Errol says this depressed Saraswathi more, but her mother does not seem to trust the Sahara staff to look after her daughter's gold trinkets. They can bathe her and feed her and medicate her but cannot be trusted with gold earrings.
Complex.
Errol was on a break today so I took him to the Shisha cafe to relax. After a couple of whisky and sodas he turned to me and declared that 'People think I am mad to be doing what I do.'
"I don't know how I could do anything else. God has saved me Hans and I have to serve him by serving the brothers and sisters that are dropped at my door."
He smiled. Sad. And then, happy.
"We'll do it baba. You and me. We'll change the way AIDS is looked at in Pune."
I nodded. We have to. The next six months are going to be busy. Deep Griha is still on holiday but Paul and I are using it to plan the months ahead. And Errol and his team are part of that plan.
Today my visit to Sahara included Smiler and her friend Sabha who had collected bed sheets and clothes and even the odd lady's purse!
They were particularly apologetic about the purses, but as Errol said 'my women clients would love a purse. They also should enjoy these things na.'
The bed linen will help and the old clothes, if they don't fit will be cut up and used as rags. Sahara always needs rags, if nothing else. There is a lot to mop up, there is a lot to soak up, there is a lot to wipe away.
"We'll do it baba. You and me. We'll change the way AIDS is looked at in Pune."
With the teams we have. The Mayas and the Salims, yes Errol we will.
posted by Deep Griha at 4:36 am
2 Comments:
Hi Hans
I stumbled upon this site quite by chance and decided to read the posts as I saw a familiar name! I was confused at first although I knew there could not be too many people who had the same name; the photographs on the site verified the identity.
Since then I have been amazed to read of your trials and triumphs in Puné. You have indeed chosen to do everything in your power to make the world a better place (if I might use a cliché) where as the majority of us have chosen to be content with silently wishing for a better world and end up doing very little towards it.
However I am sure you find your reward in the smiles of people who really appreciate your work.
I am sure that you and your colleagues are already making a difference!
All the best & take care!
Michelle H (remember me?)
Of course I remember you Michelle. Thank you.
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