A ray of hope

What would the ideal goals of a young girl be? Finish school, get into a good college and thereafter get a good enough job. Seem normal enough. Not!! Welcome to the slums of Pune where finishing school is an achievement and college is a luxury.

While talking to a fieldworker I asked her how many students from the FWC Project are in college. "Just one, she replied." Me being the modern girl that I am, I was shocked that these children give up studying immediately after school -till she explained to me that most girls either get married or start work."But why?" I asked. "Why don't they see that they'd earn better if they study?"She looked at me and said, "You dont understand because you dont live in the slums.This is how it works."

I therefore, asked her about Sunita Mulkul, who has finished school and joined the A.B Atre Jr. College and is currently studying commerce. She was offered a few technical courses like joining a sewing class or a nursing course which would enable her to earn some money soon after graduating from school, but she opted for something a little more challenging and has done a three month basic computer course. This just goes to show, where there's a will, there's a way! Sunita had the courage to defy the system and study while most other girls her age are either married or working. Credit must be given to her family for supporting her decision. However inspite of their having reached so far, Sunita is unsure about her future. She is worried about the possibility of being married off and desperately hopes to complete her education before that happens.

In a place where there's barely any importance given to a decent college education, Sunita gives us some hope that maybe, just maybe the general thought towards education is changing and people are becoming more aware of the benefits offered by a college degree.
We wish Sunita good luck and success and hope she will be a shining example to younger children of this Program.

Cheryl C

The Chaos Within - The Team

On the 21st of February DISHA turned one year old.

We are, as previous entries have indicated, in our infancy.

An infant that dances... and the metaphorical cuts and scrapes from the constant tumbling - when you dance as frenziedly as us, you will fall - are often deep wounds, that hopefully will one day heal.

To mark this special occasion I took the team out to Le Meridian hotel, which happens to be situated on the border of the Tadiwala Road slum. This hotel sums up the paradox that so many speak of in context of this fascinating and frustrating nation.

The team had no idea that Le Meridian was their destination on Tuesday evening, and I enjoyed watching their reactions. The grandeur of this hotel had long been cause for wonderment with the team, and to finally walk up to it, to enter in to its opulent belly, was an experience that they never imagined they would have.

Obviously, the security guys at the gate were struck with a different kind of wonderment - where were 13 tired looking women, and 3 equally tired men think they were going? Just for a moment I thought that I had made a mistake. The last thing I had wanted was for us to be turned away, and for the team to think any less of themselves. They are a proud, hardworking, committed group and no one should be allowed to look down upon them and treat them with condescension. The bemused security guards let us through. The doorman faltered only momentarily before smiling us his welcome, and the Maitre 'd at the Coffee Shop didn't blink once when I requested a table for 20. He requested 5 minutes to set it up, and then led us to to the long table with deference that could only come with experience.

The team sat down in silence. Their heads bowed, staring at their obscured reflection in the shiny cutlery. The waiters buzzed around them and soon their tall glasses were full of clear water that 'tasted different.' They asked me to order for them, and I got an assortment: Pieces of pineapple, strawberry and blackforrest gateau, gooey chocolate truffles, fruit tarts... the silence ended. The arguing and jostling for the preferred choice brought with it laughter.

We sat there for just over an hour. You wouldn't think that a silver fork would be so interesting, until you see it through the eyes of Koli maushi, our nutrition centre cook, who relished using it on her fruit tart. Advice on using her fingers went unheeded. The fork was on the table next to her plate, and it must be used! I was also castigated by the team for not telling them about the venue. They were in their 'work' saris, and other than Koli maushi who nipped back to change en route, the others were feeling less that suitably attired. But as I drew their attention to my crushed shirt and rubber slippers their mock anger abated and the laughter returned.



It had been a hard year. A good year. They deserved a treat.

The next day we were back.

Ground control to major Tom. Ground control to Major Tom. Take your protein pills and put your engine on...

The Shivsharan sisters...

I was talking to one of the field workers of Aadhar Kendra in Bibvewadi area (DAK project). When I asked her about a particular child’s hobbies her spontaneous reply was “interviewing people”. I found this out of the ordinary. I requested to meet this girl. Her name is Varsha Shivsharan.

Later two girls entered the room. Apparently, Varsha has a twin sister named Vishakha. As always they came across similar (or rather identical) looking individuals with distinct personalities. Both are students of standard 8 and popularly known among the schoolteachers as the ‘ideal students’. Their favourite subjects at school are Mathematics and Science respectively. While having a chat with them Varsha does not forget to mention that she topped in all her examinations this year. This declaration is followed by a quick comment from Vishakha “mi tila abhyasat madat keli mhanun ti pehli aali” (she stood first because I helped her with her studies)

Reading is Varsha’s hobby. Her teachers at school or Aadhar Kendra often lend her books. ‘Dinanchi Savli’ (a Marathi novel) is her favourite novel. Another hobby of hers that grabbed my attention was interviewing people. She loves asking questions, knowing more about people and their background and making her own notes. She proudly tells you that she has interviewed people like Chandu Borde, Sudhir Gadgil (local celebrities).

Vishaka, an extrovert, is more of an outdoors person. Her hobby is playing dodge ball. Her tomboyish looks give away her traits in the first meeting. Though she doesn’t like studying, she has managed to score well in all her exams. These days what she is concerned about is playing in the upcoming interschool competitions. She missed the earlier one because of a leg injury.

Vishakha aims to become an IPS officer without any second thought. Whereas, Varsha wants to pursue a career in the science stream (I was optimistic that she would say journalism but…)

When not studying or doing household chores, both love bullying their younger brother Kapil and “ dancing with him in the garden”.

While talking to them what comes across is an immense sense of maturity, sincerity and a dash of their 13-year old selves. Both wanted their sponsors to know how grateful they are to them. Vishakha has met her sponsor but Varsha hasn’t. Before leaving Varsha handed me a letter to her sponsors expressing her desire to meet them.

-Rujuta Teredesai
Aadhar Kendra volunteer

First Impressions-II

Welcome to my weekly blog. As instructed by Hans this weekly blog will happen every 2 weeks. But what a week this has been.I mean last week I wouldn't have thought twice about starting the previous sentence with 'But', as it's a conjunction used to introduce something something unexpected or negative about a situation. Like in 'we went to the shop BUT it was closed'. Ah well, such is life. I know that from Friday when I spent 8 hours ploughing through loads of books. 'Teach yourself English Grammar'is SO overwritten. It's unhelpfully hilarious, but most of the books are very straightforward.

AH... But it was this time last week we came out. I remember I couldn't sleep that night so I sat up in bed and watched 5 episodes of 'Scrubs' DVD back to back. 'Scrubs' if you don't know is one of my favourite TV sitcoms of all time. It's hilarious but I've yet to miss having them to watch whenever I feel a little down, as it always cheers me up, but I've never thought to myself that I'd really like to watch an episode. I suppose I know the DVDs will be waiting for me when I get back. The only program I kind of miss is 'Stargate' as Season 9 is premiering on 'Sky1' as we speak but again, it rarely interrupts my thoughts as it will be repeated on TV when I get back.

Anyway...seem to have rambled on and I don't know how helpful this is being. Why is it called a blog anyhow? Is it like a log and you put a 'B' on the end to make it sound special. Hmmm...

'But what of over here?' I hear you cry. 'When's he going to stop rambling?' Well I love the driving here. Customs obviously threw the Highway Code out of the country as it just doesn't exist. The horn means 'Get out of my way or die' and someone really should suggest pedestrian crossings as crossing the road is about as safe as swimming with crocodiles (as sharks despite their bad reputation, are amazingly safe animals to be around. While crocodiles are 100 times more dangerous, yet for some reason, we fear sharks more.Hmmm... food for thought there).

Talking of food I love it, Especially when 'no spicy' burns out the back of your throat. But it's all part of the experience. But even the spicy stuff is nice as long as you've got a bottle of water handy. I also love how our water maybe a little temperamental at times, as are most things but it's all about the relaxed way of Indian life, despite the roads. Actually, if you think about it, the roads are a perfect example. They're so relaxed they can't be bothered with the strict (sometimes really silly) rules of the Highway code. It was fantastic to see it on the first night. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced, and second only to Holly and the Magic Bus. But back to food (as I managed to veer away from. I haven't had quite as strange as Roast Guinea Pig (Ecuador's speciality) but it's a hard act to follow. When I had fish at a restaurant it was swimming with bones andI spent the whole meal picking bones out of my mouth! Ech!

I love the rickshaws! It's so great. Especially going to to MG Road from the elephants (yes! I rode an elephant! I touched its trunk! It was soooo amazing!) This rickshaw driver yelled out and zipped through traffic at such a great speed I had to cling on to stop myself falling out. It was a fantastic experience that. WOOHOO!

I loved Ramtekdi and Bibewadi as the children were so great and I hope to try and get the chance to work with them as I have 2 days without lessons atDeep Griha.

When I learned I would be teaching grammar I was...nervous doesn't cover it. I was in sheer, blind panic. Not sure why now, as I'm looking forward to the lesson. The plan is written, the stage is set and all that there is to say on this is getready (done), lights (power cut?) camera (there is no camera) ACTION! (what action?) I'm teaching a class for an hour on conjunctions. Hardly the event of the century. Ah well, I hope this has been helpful but I've just written as I thought. Wonder what installment 2 will bring...?

-David Lyon

First Impressions -I

I haven't even been in India for a week, yet so much has happened it's difficult to know where to begin. The two things that hit you most are the amount,but also the friendliness of the people around you. Everywhere is so busy but the Indian laid-back way of life makes you feel very relaxed.

We were thrown in to it the first day when we visited Wadia college to hand out DISHA ribbons.The response was amazing and as we left (having run out of ribbons) it was great to see the sea of people who were now slightly more aware of such an important issue.

As you enter the Deep Griha projects so much is going on. As you enter Tadiwala Road hundreds of foot high children bounce around with tiny, smiling faces. Inside their creche the walls are brightly covered in paint and on the ground lies their blankets for naptime. There are always people coming and going at the nutrition centre and there are so many people involved doing their own bit. It's difficult to describe the rooms of Deep Griha as the activities inside always seem to be changing.

Joining in with the school drop-out classes I saw the delight books and songs gave the children. The DISHA team are amazing and you can see the impact their work is having around you.

The most interesting part of my week was sitting in the DISHA office with Madhuri listening to her reading an HIV awareness pamphlet. The fact that she picked it up and asked me to listen to her shows the amazing desire and dedication people haveto learn English. By reading through the pamphlet and helping her understand what the words meant it was great to be able to allow her to gain such important information which strangely is not so readily available in Marathi.

Everyday you seem to see something more crazy and special than the day before.

-Katy

The Chaos Within - One bite at a time

Bleak.

This often sums up my weekly contribution to the Deep Griha blog.

This week I thought of writing about something that has lifted us and made us feel less bleak... but I cannot ignore the carnage that HIV/AIDS ignorance and stigma continues to wreak. In our field we say that ignorance and stigma kills you before the virus does, and Maya told me about two cases - a suicide and an attempted suicide - that brings this home to us.

A man hung himself with a sarong/lungi in Naidu hospital. He was HIV+. Last year there was a spate of HIV/AIDS related suicides at J J Hospital when people either hurled themselves off the balconies or defenestrated... jumped out of the windows. The attempted suicide was a man living in Yerwada who went into severe depression after he was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and took a kitchen knife and cut his own throat. The reports as to his recovery were sketchy. At one point we heard that he had died at Sassoon General, but the last we heard he was still alive.

Doctors, especially the small practices in Pune, are often ignorant of how to deal with people who are HIV+... their patients often pick up on the fear, and sometimes the overt hostility or contempt that the doctors treat them with. Time after time in this last year we have heard of doctors who either refuse to treat HIV+ patients or doctors who actually further the fear of the patient by senetencing the already fearful and confused client to death.

"Finished! You got HIV!"

I am not suggesting that the doctor is responsible for the attempted suicide - self inflicted Scicilian necktie without the tongue - but the spate of suicides at JJ, the hanging at Naidu, and the information we continuously receive about 'fear' in the health sector does point to a problem.
DISHA, later this year, hopes to address the problem by beginning with a camp for the local doctors in the Tadiwala Road area. 2006 is our 'Share the Vision' year. The vision is to make Tadiwala Road a model community in the battle gainst HIV/AIDS. A Time Asia cover story last year on HIV/AIDS and denial in India had the top man at NACO say that the "the battle against HIV and AIDS will be won or lost in India." Yes, but the battle must be fought at the grassroots! Too much slips through the India wide net. This is why grassroots organisations have to step up.
Returning to the local doctors, to make Tadiwala Road a model community requires them on board, as much as and often more so than the local community leaders and politicians that will also be targeted by us. We have heard reports of a local doctor who refuses to inform his patients of their HIV+ status because he makes money off of their opportunistic infections. These are unconfirmed reports, and are in fact almost impossibe to verify, but we do feel that a beginning will be putting all these medical practitioners together and talking to them about how HIV+ people should be approached... and if we do it right, in deference to their status as 'doctor' then hopefully they will share our vision.

Since returning from Africa the enormity of the task ahead of us is ever befor me. And the team also realised this when we conducted an awareness programme on Valentine's Day at Wadia College, another leading college of the University of Pune. The team was astounded that so many college students were in the dark about the issues that we work with. Issues that directly affect them.

The morning before Valentine's day the team and I was talking about that long hard road that we have just stepped onto... and then asked them "how do you eat an elephant?" They were astounded. Elephant? Why would anyone want to eat an elephant? Discussions arose as to how tough and leathery the meat would be, and how big a knife would be required to cut through the bones. There was laughter at sawing motions and thoughts on what the tastiest part would be... trunk, flank, thigh (drumstick), deepfried ears... but in the end they understood. "In small pieces." At Wadia College, as the programme drew to a close, Meera asked Natasha and a few other volunteers the same question, because it was in that surrounding of ignorance and sprinklings of apathy that the enormity struck them again. "One bite at a time," said Paul. And Meera smiled. One bite at a time.

I love the DISHA team... the bites that we take out of the elephant are larger chunks because of them. Now that wasn't so bleak was it?

Vision Aid Overseas visit Pune

From 14th to 28th January, the Vision Aid Overseas team were in town. VAO is a charity which organises visits for UK-based optometrists to come and run eye camps in India and several African countries. Deep Griha Society is VOA’s partner organisation in India, and camps take place in Pune district every year.

The figures are impressive. In two weeks, Anne and her team conducted ten camps (five urban, five rural) seeing almost 2,000 people. Then it’s straight back to work back home – in many cases, the optometrists use their annual leave to make the trip.

Last year I had the pleasure of tagging along for a couple of the rural camps and I thought I’d do this same this time around. It’s always interesting to visit the villages and it’s great to witness firsthand the dedication and energy levels of the VAO team.

The whole exercise is a great example of different agencies working together: VAO, which provides the expertise and equipment; DGS, which handles logistics and sends staff and volunteers to help; Sangam, who provide accommodation for the visitors; and the villages and urban centres themselves.

There are a few images that will stay with me. The old man who had travelled some distance from his own village to the camp in Boriadi: he was delighted with his new specs, and as we watched him walking slowly away, we could see him looking all around and taking in sights that just a few moments earlier were invisible to him. The fellow who was stood by the roadside as we left in the Deep Griha vehicle, waving a cheery goodbye, looking through his new glasses and beaming a dazzling smile. The optometrists talk about the ‘Vision Aid smile’ and we saw many.

More of the same next year!

The Chaos Within - Wrong Number

Rebecca wanted to die.

She was in the last stage of HIV/AIDS. She had worked for Sahara Care Home. She knew exactly what she was going through... she knew what was to come.

"Give me an injection... please." She asked Lata and Maya. They looked into her eyes and saw their friend desperate to die. To cheat suffering of its pleasure. They could do nothing.

When they told me about her. Their tears contained their own end. Their sadness looked into mine, and their courage and strength had abandoned them, albeit fleetingly. I sat in silence with with two women that I have come to love deeply... today they leave to be with another friend and colleague, Neesha, in New Delhi. She is also in the last stage of HIV and Lata and Maya want to say goodbye.

Frustration and anger is mixed potently into their love and affection for these two friends.

"They didn't look after themselves!"

"She didn't eat right!"

"She should have taken SAM Therapy..."

"I told her!"

HIV/AIDS is not an end. These two women, along with Vaishali and Suman and some of our HIV+ clients have shown us life after HIV. But often before the AIDS gets you, the rejection weakens your resolve and you can almost see and hear and smell the virus salivate in anticipation...

STIGMA!!!

It kills! It is like another opportunistic infection that preys upon those who contract HIV. It rivals tuberculosis as an agent of death for people living with HIV/AIDS, and it also brings great suffering and pain to those affected by the virus. The child, the wife, the sister,the father, the friend, the colleague...

On Saturday last we were at Fergusson College; apparently one of the University of Pune's leading colleges. The medium of instruction is English. The dress code is hip. The language is MTV.

You would think that the majority of the students would have access to media and a culture where HIV/AIDS is not just about a red ribbon, or reduced (erroneously) to a disease that kills.

You would think!

It is a long and hard road that lies ahead of us. It twists and writhes like a snake. And the only way we can see it narrow and disappear into the distance is in our mind. Will it end? I don't have an answer. But we have to walk down that road, crawl and claw our way for Lata, for Maya and for all of us who know that stigma is cold and unfeeling, its bite can be fatal.

Errol told me today that often people in the last stage are dumped at Sahara Care Home like unwanted puppy dogs. They are to be forgotten. The family or friend or faceless one who dumps gives the wrong contact telephone number. When the person dies, there is no one to collect the body and give it a burial. On occasion when the number is correct and Errol contacts the family or friend to inform them of a death, he hears the same person who talked to him when he called to report progress say - "You've got the wrong number."

Callousness?

Stigma?

Fear?

It could be... And I know it kills. It kills the person who is infected... and I don't mean rejection this time, I mean the fear of not understanding HIV/AIDS, and so the person is convinced that he or she has contracted death. This fear is what they see reflected in the eyes of their family and their friends.

When I look into the eyes of people living with HIV/AIDS I do not see fear. They do not see fear in me. They do not see fear in my team. We learn more everyday about HIV/AIDS, and we have overcome our fear, and are helping others to do this... we have to! If we as a community do not overcome fear, then stigma remains and its shafts of hate will sink deep into those living with and affected by HIV/AIDS.

The numbers game focuses on how many people are living with HIV/AIDS...

I sometimes wonder if that is the right number...

How many people are afraid of HIV/AIDS?

How many people will stand by those infected and affected by the virus?

If we make a change with 'the fear', then we will make a change in the number of people dying of HIV/AIDS. Fear - Fear of stigma, fear of the inevitable that drives one to fatalism, and sometimes fear that leads to denial of their condition - stops people coming forward early, when with good nutrition, care and medication an HIV+ person can live what society deems a 'normal' life.

If we reduce/stop the stigma that is associated with HIV/AIDS people will be less afraid to discuss sex and sexuality in an HIV/AIDS context. They will be open to learning about safe sexual practices that will protect them. This will bring down the rates of new infections.

Am I making fucking sense? Its been a long day...

So how many people are afraid of HIV/AIDS?

People Afraid of HIV/AIDS... PAHAs!?

UNAIDS/WHO reports will never give you a statistic.

There is no range estimate... anything from 1 to 6 Billion, or however many people live on this third rock!

The fact is, if we take the range estimate for India, the numbers game falls down on its ugly impersonalness (its can be a word!). 5.2 Million Adults and Children live with HIV/AIDS in India. But it can also be anything from 2.5 - 8.5 million! Thank you UNAIDS/WHO.

Fear and stigma will never allow for accurate statistics.

We have 46 PLWHA on our project and about 100 that are directly affected by the virus.

This is the number we work with.

And now we also work with that number of PAHAs... that unknown, huge fucking number that we will never know if we reduce... except in the ones and twos and tens at most! Which for us is brilliant...

Hello?

Sorry wrong number.