What can I say?

rAlmost at the end of our time now...I know people will end up being sick of blogs about our leaving but here's another one. Ha ha. I'm looking forward to going home now, seeing all my family, friends and my boyfriend that I haven't seen in 6 months. Although I'm excited, part of me is always going to be sad at what I'm leaving behind - all the friends I have made here, the kids I've gotten to know, the work that has become daily life for the past 5 1/2 months and yes I'll even miss living in a house with numerous other people - how strange is it going to be with just me and my parents - and having to queue up for the use of my own straighteners?

However I will be back at some point next year - hopefully in early 2007 - if Hans will let me of course, he's maybe had enough! I can't actually think of what to say - it's a weird mix of feelings, excitment, sadness, a little nervous about not knowing how much I have changed until I get home. I think every one of us here will have changed in some way. No-one can do what we have done, see what we have seen and be the same person when they go home. The way we think about everything is going to be completely different - it's really scary not knowing what to expect.

About my time working with Deep Griha - in his latest blog, Hans described all the volunteers as "a team that has so embraced Deep Griha like no team has done before", all I can say to that is whats not to embrace? The laughter, the smiles, the feeling of being welcome the second you step through the doors, being part of a team that to be honest is more like a family that you are brought into at your first meeting?

For me this experience has been both the best experience of my life so far and a bit of a challenge. The people I have met I will never forget - including those in Bidar. There are things that will always make me smile when I think about them - like Kumar dancing at Sahara...Kumar dancing anywhere for that matter, visiting the Bidar fort with the DISHA team, playing carrom, countless nights out which were filled with laughter and usually ended in a sing-song, sitting on the balcony at the DGCC with another volunteer talking about the most random of things. The list could go on and on.

I don't even know how to start saying goodbye to everyone here, especially to Kumar and Anand - how do you say goodbye?

Esther

Less than 4 weeks

Well, what can I say, apart from it’s nearly 3 bloody weeks til I - and the rest of the Link volunteers - go back home to Scotland. It is so scary that we only have that much time left! There is so much left to do – like pack for one, check whether I’ve actually got a seat on the plane, and send home clothes that won’t fit in my rucksack.

Like my fellow volunteer David said in his recent blog ‘it’s down to a fortnight of work (Hang on WHAT?!), a week, (WAIT!), 3 weeks travelling (NO! I still need to…), 2 (WOW! TOO FAST!), 1 week (PLEASE SLOW DOWN!!!!), 1 day (BUT!…) In Scotland (WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!)’.

It will just go too fast for our liking, and before you we will be back in Scotland! How crazy is it – the 6 months have zoomed by in a blink of an eye! Although the first few weeks dragged and made us feel as though we were here for the long haul, the rest of the weeks (which have turned into months) zoom by like Michael Schumacher in his Ferrari!! That’s the only simile that springs to my mind, and I think it describes our time here to a tee!

Personally, my time here has been unforgettable, and I will cherish the moments. I’m sure, as time passes back at home, I will look at my India photos and think to myself ‘did I really do that’, and my mum will turn round and probably say ‘Yes, unless you have been hiding under your bed for 6 months’. She is funny; I miss her terribly, and in less than 4 weeks – YES 4 WEEKS!!! I will see her J.

But, there are certain moments of my stay here that will probably stay with me until I die like – visiting the Taj Mahal (but to be fair who would forget seeing that?), riding a camel and nearly falling off it, going to the ‘All American Diner’ in Delhi and having a hot dog – delicious.

But all of those are miniscule compared to teaching those brilliant kids, and helping out in the crèches! I don’t think Ramtekadi and Tadiwala will be the same without us! I don’t think Hans will be the same without us! He’s been great!! I think I will probably miss him the most!

Before I came out here, my friends kept saying that this would make me grow up so much! What can I say, it bloody has, I mean, going on a 40 hour train journey from Delhi – Goa. Most people would think ‘are you insane’, I probably was, and I know I was, but it was great.

I was talking to Tess (another link volunteer) and she mentioned how much I’ve grown up, and she also mentioned, that when I arrived in India, I wouldn’t go to the bloody shops without another person with me, and less than 2 months ago – WHAT!!! 2 MONTHS? – I was on a 40-hour train journey down to Goa!

On next Monday evening, I will be on a bus to Hyderabad, and guess what, I’m going on my own! I’ve grown up so much, I am going to spend just one week there – ON MY OWN! I can’t bloody wait!

You know, I’ve been writing this blog for a while now, and it made me think, why am I doing this when we’ve only got 4 weeks (less than) in India – I’ve got stuff to do.


Let’s hope Michael’s Ferrari breaks down!!

-Philip Ross

The Chaos Within - Unconfined Joy.

On the 5th of July Deep Griha celebrated 31 years of service.

The Deep Griha family came together at the YMCA to celebrate: Project staff, administration, trustees and board members and of course volunteers.

It was a day of letting go, a day of reflection, and albeit that you may be tired of what some call my obsession - it was a day of dance.

But before I get to the very real dance that happened at the 31st celebration, I want to speak of a dance of togetherness that occurred that very day between four organizations.

1. Project Concern International (PCI) that run HIV/AIDS intervention projects (Pathway), much like DISHA right across the city of Pune.

2. Muktaa (Making U Know & Talk About AIDS) HIV/AIDS help-line that is Pune based and anonymous, helping and directing thousands who have concerns about HIV or have contracted it.

3. Sahara Aalhad Residential Care and Rehabilitation Centre that never turn away HIV+ client.

4. Deep Griha's DISHA project.

We've come together as part of the 'Wake Up Pune' campaign that will run in 2006 leading up to World AIDS Day on December 1st.

In the NGO climate organizations working so closely together is rare. NGOs are very protective of their limited funding and possessive of the communities they serve. Often the beneficiary (in this case those living with and affected by HIV/AIDS) and the cause or issue (HIV/AIDS) is secondary to the agenda of the NGO.

I speak through experience. I have said before that there is a lot of money in poverty, and currently there is a lot of money in HIV/AIDS. Projects have sprung up overnight in the hope of accessing these funds, yet the intervention projects that are run are sadly all too often organization based, i.e., the funds are a means to employing their staff and sustaining an organization rather than genuine intervention.

This is not a very popular view. Yet there is more than enough evidence that points to this in the Indian NGO sector in particular. Corruption is endemic. Let's not pretend any different. WHO's decision to freeze funding to India a few months ago was a result of the misappropriation and general mayhem that rules!

The comprehensive approach to the battle against HIV/AIDS that PCI, Muktaa, Sahara Aalhad and DISHA hope will result from our tie up covers all aspects of the pandemic. Education and awareness as part of the prevention and control components and rehabilitation, treatment of opportunistic infections (OIs) and qualitative palliative care in context of the care component.

An example of this is the proposed tie-up in the urban slum community of Yerewada. Sahara Aalhad have an existing office here but no funds to run a sustained intervention programme. With DISHA providing the education and awareness including psycho-social support; Muktaa the helpline; PCI offering their mobile clinic for treatment of OIs; and Sahara Aalhad rehabilitation and residential care, we can make a difference for PLWHA and the affected in this community.

After the meeting Paul, Smiler, Errol and Malik joined me at the YMCA to celebrate Deep Griha's 31st anniversary.

We arrived just in time for lunch.

The entertainment programmes began soon after.

The volunteers danced. Emily, Sharon, Sam, Tess, Shazma, Esther, Stevie, Nicola, and Katie did a beautifully choreographed dance in their colour coordinated skirts to a popular Hindi song. There were immediate calls for an encore.

The DISHA team then danced. Madhuri, Maya, Rani, Deepa and Lata. HIV an end to life? I sat there and watched them lose themselves in the rhythm, the music, and I have never felt so alive!

The volunteers then all got together, Link and independents and they sang 'Let It Be.' What does one do? What does one say? Nothing. Words are often so fucking superfluous.

And then they danced again. They heeded the calls for an encore and everyone rushed forward to get a closer look at a team that has so embraced Deep Griha like no team has done before.

I cannot of course forget David Lyon's solo performance. The boy is dance. Manic, unconfined dance!

"Let your joy be unconfined" Twain said... Aye, our joy was unconfined.

1 month at City of Child

Well, sorry that I haven't written a blog in a while, it's because I have been at City of Child doing a spot of painting! Well not exactly a spot, not like a lot! Bloody hell, it's been a busy month, we've done so much, and when I look back at what I've done - I'm very proud!!

Originally, it was only meant to be Stevie, Jamie and I going, back the day before we were due to go, 3 new volunteers arrived (Emily, Claire and Lorna), and Bhaskar had asked if they can come out as well. I must admit, when they said they were coming out, it was the best thing I had ever heard as I didn't know what was happening!
3 extra people to help us, it's a miracle - it really is.

It was great at City of Child, although the longest stay there was only 4 days, so I was a bit worried if I was going to be ok. City of Child is out in the middle of no-where in the village of Kasurdi, with only one shop which is about 30 minutes walk from the City of Child! I'm used to having shops right on my doorstep pretty much and now I would have to walk 30 minutes! Also, we had to bring water from the cultural centre, and we were all worrying if the water we had was going to be enough!! It was boiling out there, so we were going to need plenty water!

Even though I was worried about the water and whether I was going to stay sane for the 4 weeks - the kids brighten up my day, when they get back from school, all they want to do if play in the park - which is great fun!! They also love their clapping games - 'my name is', 'my father went to sea' and 'zig, zag, zoom' - they love them.
The food is amazing as well - although you do get tired of eating rice, dahl and chapatti every day, twice a day!

I need a pizza!

Oh, chocloate milkshake!

It's wierd, you appreciate things so much more when you haven't got them readily available!! What am I going to do for this month with pizza or a mcdonalds! Well I come back at weekends!

-Philip Ross

The Chaos Within

Fight!!! We need your help. Every one of you.

Hans

Perspective: What 25 years of AIDS Has Taught Me
By Eric Sawyer, published by CommonDreams.org
10 June 2006
*************

I have been living with symptoms of HIV/AIDS for 25 years, and I am glad to have survived to see this week's marking of the 25th anniversary of the first recognition of the disease. For these many years I have been able to manage my symptoms and contribute to society by educating others about the disease and advocating for stronger public and private action to end the epidemic.

That's why it troubles me so much to see that many of the lessons of the last 25 years of AIDS are being ignored by policymakers and government officials. While my own medical fight against HIV infection is being won, on a global level, the fight is still being lost.

Over 11,000 people are infected with HIV for the first time every day, despite clear evidence that, when people understand HIV and have the tools to prevent it, infections can be greatly reduced. Over 8,000 people are dying needless deaths every day, despite the fact that we now have the medications to keep them alive.

Why is this happening? The central problem is that a key lesson of the past 25 years - the need to keep ourselves honest in this fight by setting clear timetables for reaching basic goals - is being ignored by world leaders.

Last week's United Nations General Assembly Special Session on HIV/AIDS, which I attended, is a case in point. From the outside, this event seemed to represent more progress in the fight against AIDS. Important statements were made, for instance, about the need to end the violence against women that underlies the epidemic in much of the world. But, the meeting failed to produce the clear road map we need to really confront AIDS, in sharp contrast to the UN plan issued in 2001 on the same issue, which included specific milestones.

As an American, it was especially appalling to witness the role of US
diplomats at this meeting. I had to watch as they fought to prevent the UN from including the specific, time-bound goals that African governments and civic groups had called for just one month ago at a summit in Nigeria. One of these was to deliver AIDS treatment to 80% of the people who need it in Africa by 2010. While US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has said the US approach to AIDS is "rooted in partnership with Africa," the US insisted this clear target be left out of the UN plan.

Another instance of accountability-avoidance struck me as bordering on nonsensical. The American public does not want to see the US shoulder the whole burden of the fight against AIDS. Since the US is already providing a significant share of the resources needed, it would make sense to include a clear global funding commitment in the UN declaration. Then, that promise could be used to help persuade Japan, Canada, countries in Europe, and others, to increase their contributions.

Yet, oddly, the US government refused to go along with setting such a
funding commitment. So, while First Lady Laura Bush told the UN session that "The United States looks forward to working with you, and to finally winning the fight against AIDS," just down the hall US diplomats were insisting the UN statement avoid any commitment to provide the funding needed to actually do this. She also spoke in her address of the benefits of the US contribution to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, TB and Malaria, while, back in Washington, President Bush has proposed cutting this contribution by 45%.

Platitudes and vague promises will not win the fight against AIDS. AIDS could kill 31 million people in India and 18 million in China by 2025, according to projections by the UN. In Africa, the toll could reach 100 million.

To prevent this nightmare from unfolding, we have to admit that the
problem today is not primarily technological or medical. It's that we are still not bringing to this fight the level of seriousness and resolve needed to overcome the problem.

We as people who care about the millions suffering and dying have to go beyond more candlelight memorials for those who have died. Instead, let's declare the next 25 years a zone of zero-tolerance for empty rhetoric and insist on results.


Eric Sawyer is the co-founder of ACT-UP New York, an AIDS activist group, and co-founder of Housing Works, the largest provider of housing for people with AIDS in the U.S. Mr. Sawyer has been HIV-positive since 1981.