The Chaos Within - Lost
The DISHA Team has lost one of its team members to what all too often is India.
Suman Honmanne did not return to work on the 2nd of January when we reopened after the holidays. When I inquired after her from Avinash, he told me that she had gone to Sholapur, a town about 4hrs from Pune by train, where her husband lives. Avinash gently suggested that her husband was probably making it difficult for Suman to return.
In June her husband and mother-in-law turned up at DISHA's nutrition centre and what can only be tritely referred to as an 'almighty row' took place in which Avinash had to intervene. The husband did not want her to work. He wanted her to live with him and look after the children. He is in government service and earns enough to support his family. Therefore this in itself is not an unusual request. But Suman, like many women that I have encountered in my country Sri Lanka, and India, is a victim of domestic abuse, mental and on occasion, physical. She looked upon her job with us as a means of being away from him - she lived with his mother in Pune - and also being independent of need.
Suman has two daughters, Tejashree and Sakshi, neither of them are HIV+. Yes, Suman contracted HIV from her husband. Sakshi is only a baby and we need to do another test to confirm that she avoided HIV, but her weight and general health indicate that she is a bouncing baby girl with no complications. After the June row at the nutrition centre her husband took both Tejashree (who is just 3) and Sakshi back with him to Sholapur. When Suman visited a couple of weeks later, Sakshi had an open sore on the side of her head and was filthy and neglected. She convinced her husband to let her have the baby, who spends her time in the Deep Griha creche while Suman is at work.
Her trip back this time was to see Tejashree and her husband has told her that either she stays, or he will take the children away from her and marry again. Suman has chosen to stay with her children, and she told us that the thought of another girl contracting HIV from her husband is to awful to bear.
"He has spoiled my life, how can I let him spoil another girl's life."
Maya was in tears as she communicated this conversation to me. (We finally tracked down a phone number and managed to speak to her yesterday.) Maya has convinced her to come back next month and collect a month's supply of SAM therapy (www.ipath.org). Hopefully this will allow for her to stay in touch with us so that we can help her in any way we can. We offered to speak to her husband but currently she doesn't want us to do that. And Avinash in a very uncharacteristic manner said "there is no point talking to that bastard anyway. I tried last time and he didn't listen." Nevertheless we will try again as soon as Suman allows us to.
A dancing star dances amongst us no longer. Her dance right now is one of pain, tears (she cried on the phone) and tough decisions that she was forced to make. Cornered into making. 'Blackmail' Its the one English word that the women on the team had on their lips yesterday.
Fuck. I just hope she finds happiness with her children.
Happy New Year.
Suman Honmanne did not return to work on the 2nd of January when we reopened after the holidays. When I inquired after her from Avinash, he told me that she had gone to Sholapur, a town about 4hrs from Pune by train, where her husband lives. Avinash gently suggested that her husband was probably making it difficult for Suman to return.
In June her husband and mother-in-law turned up at DISHA's nutrition centre and what can only be tritely referred to as an 'almighty row' took place in which Avinash had to intervene. The husband did not want her to work. He wanted her to live with him and look after the children. He is in government service and earns enough to support his family. Therefore this in itself is not an unusual request. But Suman, like many women that I have encountered in my country Sri Lanka, and India, is a victim of domestic abuse, mental and on occasion, physical. She looked upon her job with us as a means of being away from him - she lived with his mother in Pune - and also being independent of need.
Suman has two daughters, Tejashree and Sakshi, neither of them are HIV+. Yes, Suman contracted HIV from her husband. Sakshi is only a baby and we need to do another test to confirm that she avoided HIV, but her weight and general health indicate that she is a bouncing baby girl with no complications. After the June row at the nutrition centre her husband took both Tejashree (who is just 3) and Sakshi back with him to Sholapur. When Suman visited a couple of weeks later, Sakshi had an open sore on the side of her head and was filthy and neglected. She convinced her husband to let her have the baby, who spends her time in the Deep Griha creche while Suman is at work.
Her trip back this time was to see Tejashree and her husband has told her that either she stays, or he will take the children away from her and marry again. Suman has chosen to stay with her children, and she told us that the thought of another girl contracting HIV from her husband is to awful to bear.
"He has spoiled my life, how can I let him spoil another girl's life."
Maya was in tears as she communicated this conversation to me. (We finally tracked down a phone number and managed to speak to her yesterday.) Maya has convinced her to come back next month and collect a month's supply of SAM therapy (www.ipath.org). Hopefully this will allow for her to stay in touch with us so that we can help her in any way we can. We offered to speak to her husband but currently she doesn't want us to do that. And Avinash in a very uncharacteristic manner said "there is no point talking to that bastard anyway. I tried last time and he didn't listen." Nevertheless we will try again as soon as Suman allows us to.
A dancing star dances amongst us no longer. Her dance right now is one of pain, tears (she cried on the phone) and tough decisions that she was forced to make. Cornered into making. 'Blackmail' Its the one English word that the women on the team had on their lips yesterday.
Fuck. I just hope she finds happiness with her children.
Happy New Year.
posted by Deep Griha at 8:19 pm
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